Home > Store

Absolute Beginner's Guide to Online Dating

Register your product to gain access to bonus material or receive a coupon.

Absolute Beginner's Guide to Online Dating

Book

  • Sorry, this book is no longer in print.
Not for Sale

Description

  • Copyright 2005
  • Dimensions: 7-3/8" x 9-1/8"
  • Edition: 1st
  • Book
  • ISBN-10: 0-7897-3285-8
  • ISBN-13: 978-0-7897-3285-9

Curious about online dating but worried that it might not be safe? Not even sure where to start and which site to try first? Now there is a one-stop reference guide to teach you everything you need to know to enter the world of online dating — safely. The Absolute Beginner's Guide to Online Dating will help you acquire the skills to attract a future mate based on personality, values and interests using e-mail, chat and the Web. From a site-by-site comparison of features and costs to exercises that will help you assess what kind of person you are looking for, you will learn how to begin dating online. You will also learn how to:

  • Build an online profile
  • Establish a personal connection through exchanging chat messages
  • Fill out forms that inform and attract potential dates
  • Conduct background checks on people you are interested in meeting
There are even chapters dedicated to specific groups such as over-50, gays and people who only need a date for a special event. Complete with stories of successful relationships that originated online and tales of negative experiences to learn from, this book will help you feel reassured that online dating is not only safe and private, but, in many ways, better than traditional methods.

Sample Content

Online Sample Chapters

Don't Do It Yourself: Online Dating Services

Don't Do It Yourself: Online Dating Services

Table of Contents

Introduction.

    Some Key Terms.

    Some Things to Keep in Mind.

    How to Use This Book.

    Where to Find More Help.

    Conventions Used in This Book.

I. GETTING STARTED WITH ONLINE DATING.

1. Why Put Your Heart Online?

    Advantages of Cyber-Dating.

      Overcoming Your Own Fears and Getting Started.

      The Alternatives: "Brickbats-and-Mortar" Dating.

      Success Stories.

    Deciding What You Want.

      Short-Term Fun.

      Long-Term Romance.

    Identifying That Special Someone.

    Creating a Profile of Your Ideal Match.

    Who Might Be Looking For You?

      The Troller.

      The Nester.

      The Clock-Watcher.

      The Spiritual Seeker.

2. What Do You Need to Do Online Dating?

    The Absolute Least You Really Need.

      Checklist.

    Computer and Other Hardware You Need.

      An Internet Connection.

      A Digital Camera.

      Multimedia Equipment.

      A Cell Phone.

    Computer Software to Help You Get in Touch.

      A Web Browser.

      Chat Software.

      Instant Messaging.

      Text/SMS Messaging.

      A Photo Editor.

3. Don't Do It Yourself: Online Dating Services.

    Turning Online for Dating Advice.

      Web Resources.

      Discussion Groups.

      Mailing Lists.

    How Cyber-Dating Counselors Can Help You.

       Editing Help.

      Free Advice.

      Not-So-Free Advice.

      Personal Consultation.

      Essay Writing.

      Getting Your Friends to Help: Friendster.

II. WORKING WITH A DATING SERVICE.

4. Choosing a Dating Service.

    Myths and Hard Truths.

    Spending Money Is Optional, But...

      Free Sites.

      Subscription Services.

      Specialty Sites.

    Evaluating a Dating Service.

      Location, Location, Location.

      Consider Who Is Doing the Matching.

      Getting Background Information on the Web.

      Letting the Website Match You.

      Differences in Online Profiles.

      Differences in Messaging.

      Differences in How Your Privacy Is Maintained.

5. Maximizing Your Dating Site Options.

    Comparing Dating Service Providers.

      How DSPs Are Similar.

      What DSPs Don't Tell You Right Away.

    The Big Players.

      Yahoo! Personals.

      Match.com.

      Lavalife.

      AmericanSingles.com.

      FriendFinder.

    Niche Sites.

    Sites That Take a Scientific Approach.

    Getting Opinions on DSPs.

6. Taking a Trial Run.

    Signing Up for Free.

      Trial Memberships.

      Free Memberships.

      Picking an Appealing Screen Name or Headline.

      Features You Should Evaluate.

      Filling Out Surveys: Taking Your Time.

      Filling Out Surveys, Part 2: eHarmony.

    Email Matches, Suggestions, and Teases.

    Developing a Healthy Attitude.

      Setting Your Sights/Sites Low.

      Responding to Initial Contacts.

III. PUTTING YOURSELF OUT THERE.

7. Creating a Profile.

    Researching Yourself: Who Are You, Really?

      Looking to the Stars: Astrology.

      Looking to Science: Personality Tests.

      Creating an Online Persona.

    Deciding How Much to Reveal About Your Identity.

      The Age Question.

      Describing Your Personal Appearance.

      Describing Education, Income, and Other Basics.

      Observing the Do's and Don'ts.

    Automating Your Profile.

Creating a Profile Template.

Creating a Profile with Special Software.

8. Maintaining Good Form(s).

    Filling Out Forms.

    Answering Essay Questions.

    Telling Your Story, Your Way.

      Writing an "Under Construction" Essay.

      Learning from Others' Essays.

      Be Truthful, Be Consistent.

      Tell Anecdotes.

      Did You Hear the One About...?

      Short and Sweet Is Best.

      Finding Your Own Editorial Help.

9. Presenting Yourself: Using Photos.

    Why Photos Are Important.

      Considering Reasons to Go Photoless.

      A Compromise: Restricting Access to Your Photo.

    Digital Photo Options.

      Scanning.

      Using a Photo Service.

      Digital Cameras.

      Hiring a Photographer.

    Editing Your Photo.

      What Makes a Good Photo?

      Cropping.

      Retouching.

      Changing Contrast and Brightness.

10. Dealing with S-E-X.

    Catching the Wave: Surfing for Sex and Thrills.

      Mainstream Sites That Include Swingers.

      Sexy Sites.

      Services That Only Pretend to Be for Dating or Sex.

      Webcams and Virtual Sex Games.

    Surfing for a Brand-New Family.

      Including Sex in Your Profile.

      Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

      Religious Attitudes Toward Sex.

IV. JUMPING INTO THE DATING POOL.

11. Making First Contact.

    Gone Fishin'-Trolling for Matches.

      Automatic Matchmaking.

      Searching for Dating Prospects.

    Options for First Contact.

      Using Your Dating Service's Messaging System.

      Switching to Email.

      Instant Messaging/Text Messaging.

    What Do You Say After You've Said Hello?

      Be Upbeat, Be Optimistic.

      Keep Track of What You've Said.

    Reading Email to Determine What Someone Is Like.

    What Not to Do.

    Being Open While Being Sensible.

12. Email and Chat Room Etiquette.

    Making Friends with Email.

      Checking Your Email.

      Choosing an Email Program.

      Check, Double-Check, and Spell-Check.

    Using Email to Flirt and Attract.

      Greetings and Salutations.

      Conveying Emotion.

    Look Before You Type: Avoiding E-Malfunctions.

      Watch for Warning Signs.

      Avoid Turn-Offs.

      Observing the Niceties of Netiquette.

      Keeping Your Email Private.

    Moving to the Next Level.

13. Instant Messaging and Chatting.

    Instant Messaging.

      Do Your Research.

      Keep the Conversation Going, But Not for Too Long.

    Text Messaging.

    Chatting Up Dating Prospects.

14. Meeting Someone in Person.

    Choosing the Right Time and Place.

      When Is It the Right Time?

      Zeroing In on the Right Place.

    Meeting Face to Face.

      Picking Up on Visual Cues.

      Asking the Right Questions.

    Preparing an Exit Strategy.

      Tell Someone Where You're Going.

      Arrange an Escort.

      Arrange a Way to Get Home.

       Follow Up with a Message.

15. Religious Values and Other Challenges.

    Sharing Your Religious Beliefs.

    Shopping for Religious Dating Venues.

      Christian Sites.

      Jewish Sites.

      Other Religions.

    Race and Other Qualities.

16. If Things Don't Work Out...

    Saying Thanks, But No Thanks.

      Saying No in the Early Stages.

      Saying No After Things Have Progressed.

    Trying Different Ways of Saying "No, Thanks".

      Making a Courteous Good-Bye.

      Making a Firm Goodbye.

    Hearing "Thanks, But No Thanks".

      If Someone Stops Communicating.

      If Someone Turns You Down.

17. If Things Do Work Out: Planning to Say "I Do".

    How Do You Know He or She Is "The One"?

    Going Online to Plan Your Wedding.

      Planning Your Honeymoon.

      Creating a Wedding Website.

      Where Should You Buy All That Stuff?

      Involving Your Parents.

      Single-Parenting Issues.

      Religious and Other Differences.

V. THERE'S A MATCH OUT THERE FOR EVERYONE.

18. Specialty Dating.

    Physical or Other Attributes.

      Physical Issues.

      Dating with Disabilities.

      Dating with Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

    Hobbies and Other Interests.

      Sports Lovers.

      Pet Lovers.

    Threesomes and Other Combinations.

    Gay and Lesbian Dating.

    Political and Social Causes.

    Common Backgrounds.

    Timing Is Everything: Short-Notice Dates.

19. Dating in Your 40s, 50s, and 60s.

    Enjoying the New "Good Old Days".

      Facing the Skeletons in the Closet.

      Focusing on Fun and Adventure.

      Staying Positive About Health Issues.

    Single Parenting and Other Issues.

      Who Does the Asking?

      Whom Can You Trust?

      Dealing with Intimacy.

      Finding Support.

    Dealing with Age Differences.

       Encountering Younger-Much Younger-Dates.

      Dates Who Don't Act Their Age.

      Dates Who Are Up to No Good.

20. Dating for the Geographically Challenged.

    Long-Distance Relationships.

      Keeping in Touch.

      Enlisting Family and Friends.

       Dating Overseas.

    Finding a "Russian Bride".

    Where to Meet Someone from Out of Town.

      Finding Dates When You're Constantly on the Move.

      Small Town, Big Dreams.

    Ironing Out Relocation and Travel Dilemmas.

    Trusting Your Instincts When You First Meet.

VI. COPING WITH UPS AND DOWNS.

21. Practicing Safe Dating.

    Maintaining Your Privacy.

      Blocking Your Personal Information.

      Anonymous Web Browsing.

      Picking a Good Screen ID.

    Observing Good Safety Practices.

      The Pay Phone Option.

      Notifying Friends and Family.

    Trying an Invitation-Only Service.

    Asking the Right Questions.

    If Things Go Wrong...

      If Someone Threatens You...

      If Someone Stalks or Harasses You...

      If You Just Don't Meet Anyone...

22. Avoiding the Date from Hell.

    Realizing What Can Go Wrong.

      You Say the Wrong Things.

      Financial Fraud.

    Dealing with Problematic Personality Types.

      Uncovering Players.

      Watching for Inconsistencies.

       Leaving Gracefully.

    Researching Someone Beforehand.

23. Improving Your Chances of Success.

    Evaluating Your Profile.

    Editing Your Profile.

      Changing Your Photos.

      Changing Your Approach.

      Loosening Up Your Criteria.

      Relaxing Your Attitude.

    Keeping a Dating Diary.

    Evaluating Your Current Relationships.

      Getting on the Same Page.

      Having a State-of-the-Relationship Talk.

24. Finding Support.

    Turning to Your Dating Service Provider.

      Making a Marketplace a Community.

      Learning About Your Peers.

      Learning About Your DSP.

    Turning to Website Discussion Groups.

      Suggesting a Topic.

      Joining an Existing Thread.

      Chatting Up a Storm.

      Special Needs Support Groups.

    Walking on the Wild Side: Usenet.

    Looking for Professional Help.

Index.

Updates

Submit Errata

More Information

InformIT Promotional Mailings & Special Offers

I would like to receive exclusive offers and hear about products from InformIT and its family of brands. I can unsubscribe at any time.

Overview


Pearson Education, Inc., 221 River Street, Hoboken, New Jersey 07030, (Pearson) presents this site to provide information about products and services that can be purchased through this site.

This privacy notice provides an overview of our commitment to privacy and describes how we collect, protect, use and share personal information collected through this site. Please note that other Pearson websites and online products and services have their own separate privacy policies.

Collection and Use of Information


To conduct business and deliver products and services, Pearson collects and uses personal information in several ways in connection with this site, including:

Questions and Inquiries

For inquiries and questions, we collect the inquiry or question, together with name, contact details (email address, phone number and mailing address) and any other additional information voluntarily submitted to us through a Contact Us form or an email. We use this information to address the inquiry and respond to the question.

Online Store

For orders and purchases placed through our online store on this site, we collect order details, name, institution name and address (if applicable), email address, phone number, shipping and billing addresses, credit/debit card information, shipping options and any instructions. We use this information to complete transactions, fulfill orders, communicate with individuals placing orders or visiting the online store, and for related purposes.

Surveys

Pearson may offer opportunities to provide feedback or participate in surveys, including surveys evaluating Pearson products, services or sites. Participation is voluntary. Pearson collects information requested in the survey questions and uses the information to evaluate, support, maintain and improve products, services or sites, develop new products and services, conduct educational research and for other purposes specified in the survey.

Contests and Drawings

Occasionally, we may sponsor a contest or drawing. Participation is optional. Pearson collects name, contact information and other information specified on the entry form for the contest or drawing to conduct the contest or drawing. Pearson may collect additional personal information from the winners of a contest or drawing in order to award the prize and for tax reporting purposes, as required by law.

Newsletters

If you have elected to receive email newsletters or promotional mailings and special offers but want to unsubscribe, simply email information@informit.com.

Service Announcements

On rare occasions it is necessary to send out a strictly service related announcement. For instance, if our service is temporarily suspended for maintenance we might send users an email. Generally, users may not opt-out of these communications, though they can deactivate their account information. However, these communications are not promotional in nature.

Customer Service

We communicate with users on a regular basis to provide requested services and in regard to issues relating to their account we reply via email or phone in accordance with the users' wishes when a user submits their information through our Contact Us form.

Other Collection and Use of Information


Application and System Logs

Pearson automatically collects log data to help ensure the delivery, availability and security of this site. Log data may include technical information about how a user or visitor connected to this site, such as browser type, type of computer/device, operating system, internet service provider and IP address. We use this information for support purposes and to monitor the health of the site, identify problems, improve service, detect unauthorized access and fraudulent activity, prevent and respond to security incidents and appropriately scale computing resources.

Web Analytics

Pearson may use third party web trend analytical services, including Google Analytics, to collect visitor information, such as IP addresses, browser types, referring pages, pages visited and time spent on a particular site. While these analytical services collect and report information on an anonymous basis, they may use cookies to gather web trend information. The information gathered may enable Pearson (but not the third party web trend services) to link information with application and system log data. Pearson uses this information for system administration and to identify problems, improve service, detect unauthorized access and fraudulent activity, prevent and respond to security incidents, appropriately scale computing resources and otherwise support and deliver this site and its services.

Cookies and Related Technologies

This site uses cookies and similar technologies to personalize content, measure traffic patterns, control security, track use and access of information on this site, and provide interest-based messages and advertising. Users can manage and block the use of cookies through their browser. Disabling or blocking certain cookies may limit the functionality of this site.

Do Not Track

This site currently does not respond to Do Not Track signals.

Security


Pearson uses appropriate physical, administrative and technical security measures to protect personal information from unauthorized access, use and disclosure.

Children


This site is not directed to children under the age of 13.

Marketing


Pearson may send or direct marketing communications to users, provided that

  • Pearson will not use personal information collected or processed as a K-12 school service provider for the purpose of directed or targeted advertising.
  • Such marketing is consistent with applicable law and Pearson's legal obligations.
  • Pearson will not knowingly direct or send marketing communications to an individual who has expressed a preference not to receive marketing.
  • Where required by applicable law, express or implied consent to marketing exists and has not been withdrawn.

Pearson may provide personal information to a third party service provider on a restricted basis to provide marketing solely on behalf of Pearson or an affiliate or customer for whom Pearson is a service provider. Marketing preferences may be changed at any time.

Correcting/Updating Personal Information


If a user's personally identifiable information changes (such as your postal address or email address), we provide a way to correct or update that user's personal data provided to us. This can be done on the Account page. If a user no longer desires our service and desires to delete his or her account, please contact us at customer-service@informit.com and we will process the deletion of a user's account.

Choice/Opt-out


Users can always make an informed choice as to whether they should proceed with certain services offered by InformIT. If you choose to remove yourself from our mailing list(s) simply visit the following page and uncheck any communication you no longer want to receive: www.informit.com/u.aspx.

Sale of Personal Information


Pearson does not rent or sell personal information in exchange for any payment of money.

While Pearson does not sell personal information, as defined in Nevada law, Nevada residents may email a request for no sale of their personal information to NevadaDesignatedRequest@pearson.com.

Supplemental Privacy Statement for California Residents


California residents should read our Supplemental privacy statement for California residents in conjunction with this Privacy Notice. The Supplemental privacy statement for California residents explains Pearson's commitment to comply with California law and applies to personal information of California residents collected in connection with this site and the Services.

Sharing and Disclosure


Pearson may disclose personal information, as follows:

  • As required by law.
  • With the consent of the individual (or their parent, if the individual is a minor)
  • In response to a subpoena, court order or legal process, to the extent permitted or required by law
  • To protect the security and safety of individuals, data, assets and systems, consistent with applicable law
  • In connection the sale, joint venture or other transfer of some or all of its company or assets, subject to the provisions of this Privacy Notice
  • To investigate or address actual or suspected fraud or other illegal activities
  • To exercise its legal rights, including enforcement of the Terms of Use for this site or another contract
  • To affiliated Pearson companies and other companies and organizations who perform work for Pearson and are obligated to protect the privacy of personal information consistent with this Privacy Notice
  • To a school, organization, company or government agency, where Pearson collects or processes the personal information in a school setting or on behalf of such organization, company or government agency.

Links


This web site contains links to other sites. Please be aware that we are not responsible for the privacy practices of such other sites. We encourage our users to be aware when they leave our site and to read the privacy statements of each and every web site that collects Personal Information. This privacy statement applies solely to information collected by this web site.

Requests and Contact


Please contact us about this Privacy Notice or if you have any requests or questions relating to the privacy of your personal information.

Changes to this Privacy Notice


We may revise this Privacy Notice through an updated posting. We will identify the effective date of the revision in the posting. Often, updates are made to provide greater clarity or to comply with changes in regulatory requirements. If the updates involve material changes to the collection, protection, use or disclosure of Personal Information, Pearson will provide notice of the change through a conspicuous notice on this site or other appropriate way. Continued use of the site after the effective date of a posted revision evidences acceptance. Please contact us if you have questions or concerns about the Privacy Notice or any objection to any revisions.

Last Update: November 17, 2020